I have a fear worse than the fear of flying, well maybe two. The second fear is flying into a mountain in broad daylight when I have no business flying anything but a kite. The first fear is finding that the only seat left for me on a commercial airliner was made for the 8-year old kid sitting in the oversized seat by the bulkhead. Being that I’m seven feet tall and weigh over 400 pounds, airplane seats have gone the way of the candy bar: gotten smaller and costing more, though the wrapping looks the same.
If you don’t like flying, maybe you can stay and do a Google hangout instead. At least if you still throw up you may not have to wait for one of the toilets to be available. Cheers!
It’s been 100 years since the Wright Brothers proved that manned flight was possible. This eventually led to the very first commercial flight and the discovery of something just as important in man’s pursuit of the sky:
The air-sickness bag.
You may not think this was an important discovery, but trust me: Anyone who has sat next to me during a flight on anything other than a coin-operated spaceship will tell you the only thing more important than the discovery of the air-sickness bag itself is discovering how to get rid of it once it’s been used.
For me, problems generally begin once we’ve reached our cruising altitude. This is when — for reasons I don’t quite understand — all pilots are trained to address their passengers by informing them exactly how high they are and how fast they’re going. I DON’T WANT to know these things. If I did…
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